Photo courtesy of Serene Supreme
Although I’m a distrustful weirdo, I’m lonely and would like to meet other freaks. (As I discussed in a previous column, I recently ended a longterm relationship and moved to a new apartment.) When a stranger named “the Nightstalker” messaged me online and invited me to spend an afternoon with him in a cemetery, I jumped at the chance to hang out with a mysterious man who looked like a vampire.
Before I went to the cemetery, I took a cue from this man’s alias and stalked him on social media, discovering an internet persona defined by morbidity, music, and sex. Something about the Nightstalker seemed familiar. Had we crossed paths before? Eventually, I realized he was the popular DJ obsessed with the occult who was interviewed for VICE’s documentary Lil Bub and Friendz. In the movie, the Nightstalker talked about spending time in lesbian chat rooms and his special bond with serial killers.
Knowing the Nightstalker’s identity made me feel comfortable meeting him in the cemetery. He arrived at the graveyard dressed in all black. Walking through the graveyard, we talked about his music and his troubled past that turned him into a DJ known as the Nightstalker.
VICE: How did you become the Nightstalker?
The Nightstalker: In my early 20s, I started to seek out an alias for myself. I was DJing a lot at the time, so I wanted a cool name to put on flyers, and it seemed fitting. Secretly, I think a large portion of me wanted some kind of outlet. I wanted to project the frustration I had with my growing fascination with with the occult, unusual sex, and everything macabre, which was combined with my overwhelming shame I had surrounding my fascination. I’ve always had terrible insomnia, and I have felt comfortable in darkness. Eventually, I came up with the name because I “stalk” the night.
Did you experience death in your childhood?
My father was born with an identical twin. Coincidentally, they were both adopted, so you can imagine the sense of closeness they must have had towards one another, not knowing anyone in the entire world that shared the same blood other than each other. They started a very successful business together, travelling the country—they also got heavily addicted to drugs. My father was the best dad you could imagine. I can’t say the same thing about his relationship with my mother.
When I was about three years old, my uncle died from a speedball overdose in a hotel room. I remember my father speaking about how he was no longer complete but only half a person after his death. My dad’s drug addiction intensified. One sunny afternoon he was discovered in his house sharing the same fate as his beloved twin, dying alone from a mixture of cocaine and heroine. Hearing my mother tell me word of his death was the last time I was able to cry, for over 20 years, up until very recently.
Why do you relate to serial killers?
I’ve always had a thing for serial killers. I love the complex psychology around what drives seemingly normal individuals to kill. How a specific experience in someone’s childhood can stick in their mind, eventually becoming a compulsion so deep and intense that it completely overcomes their sense of morality.
Do you worry your obsession with death may turn you into a serial killer?
I could never force myself to commit such horrendous acts, as much as I like to joke about it or play myself off as a bloodthirsty criminal. A lot of it is from being mostly raised by my mother, who has been treated like shit by men her entire life, and seeing how much it has affected her. I’ve built up a strong hatred for rape and abuse over time. There are also strong aspects of myself that desire to inflict pain in others as well. I was very ashamed of these aspects for a long period of time. Eventually, I found healthy outlets for those desires. I consider myself to be a gentle being most of the time.
In the cemetery you asked me to meet you in hell, and it didn’t scare me. It sort-of sounded sexy. What does your hell look like?
I’ve always associated hell with sex. The classic symbols of Christianity, specifically crucifixes and pentagrams, have always turned me on. It might have something to do with all the bad horror movies filled with boobies I watched as a kid. I suppose my fantasy of hell is a giant derelict Gothic castle complete with a dungeon filled with whips, chains, blindfolds, a St. Andrews Cross, ball gags, and other items that I encourage everyone to experiment with at some point.
Clearly, your past has affected your interests and sex life. Have these events also influenced your music?
I’ve been DJing for about seven years now. I love music that is extremely depressing, tragic, melodramatic, yet uplifting at the same time. Naturally, with that being said, Depeche Mode is my favorite band. I also really love dance music—specifically the Chicago and Detroit house and techno influences. There’s something about the release that comes with dancing, having your body get lost in music that I treasure very dearly. Everyone should dance.
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